A Jumbo Shrimp?…. May 31, 2006

So now the baby is the sizo of a Jumbo shrimp…uh huh….okay. I thought for sure we would go from lime to something else of the fruit variety like maybe…tangerine? But nah…it's a shrimp. I was also really excited to learn that the baby, though only 3 inches long, is now a fully functioning urinating machine. Pregnancy can be a pleasant thing, so I have been told, but these weekly updates do nothing but gross me out. Last week I was told that my child's eyes had moved the the front of it's face, and this week I find out it's peeing inside of me.

Something new is happening too, people are starting to poke at my belly since it's started to push it's way out of my pants. Admittedly I have groped a few of my good friend's bellys, but it's a bit odd when your coworker does it. Something to get used to I guess. I'm just a bit self-conscious still about how my belly mostly resembles a night after some serious beer drinking, and not so much the lush roundness of a burgeoning baby.

The good news is that I'm finally starting to come off the nausea thing. I still feel a bit gunga-like in the evening, but now I can pretty much eat any kind of food. I don't really have my appetite back completely to where I'm craving something and absolutely must have the boyfreind go pick it up for me, but I at least don't look at everything with a sneer of disgust.

The boyfriend is still feeling neglected. i just haven't been able to let him man-handled like I normally can. He is the first to admit that he is a very needy person, and him pattering after me all over the apartment looking for hugs, proves it. I usually go to bed before him and the only way that can happen is if I hug and kiss him at least 2 different times before I actually get into bed. He has even come galloping to the bedroom for one last "mush" as we call it, while I'm snuggling down into the blanket ready for a deep sleep. Sometimes I do feel bad that I can't exactly meet his affection quota, but he really needs more than most! Most of the time though, I just want a chance to breathe, not have to squash my tender breasts one more time into his chest for yet another hug. I keep promising him that I will feel better soon and I truly hope that happens soon cause I'm not sure how much longer he is going to let me get away with smacking at his hands any time he reaches out even to rest his hand on top of mind. This pregnancy has just taken over my body tenfold. I'm no longer in control and it's just a bit scary. And just as I finished typing that last line, this is no exaggeration!, he just yelled from the other room…"Baby Momma! Baby Mommmmmmaaaa! I'm coming to mush you!!!" I naturally shrieked back "NO!!" but he ignored me and burst from the other room coming at me with hands outstrectched cooing "But I have to mush you! I can't help myself!!" And mush me he did…

Noxious May 27, 2006

The Boyfriend went to meet a friend from out of town last night. Since I have been pregnant he's stopped drinking as much which has been nice since I can't drink and because when he does get drunk he turns into, what I call, a "gnaughty gnome". He gets a bit more agressive and nauhty. Basically he turns into a difficult preeteen that I somehow have to manage. So anyway he hasn't actually got drunk drunk in awhile, but last night after work he went out with his boss and had a few beers which started his short descent into buzzville. He came home so we could go out and grab some dinner, which I then retired home to bed, and he continued on to meet his friend. I heard him stumble in about 1:45 last night and that was the end of a restful night for me. Between the beer scent seepeing from his pores, the LOUD snoring mixed with the catching of his breath and not really breathing sound, and don't forget the airhorn like farts that would burst forth and wake me from any slumber I was heading too….anyway I had one of those moments where I lay there in the dark just glaring at him missing the days when I had my own apartment. They don't happen often, but when your boyfriend is truly at his grossest…it's hard not to squirm a little.

I love the guy truly…but how hard is it to spit your toothpaste into the sink, not on the rug where I found it dried and crusty this morning. Even now I hear him emitting little blasts of noxious fumes into our bed….big sigh…that's my man.

Neighbors May 26, 2006

8:30 pm - We started our evening sitting down to dinner while watching "the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill" thinking we would eat some good food and watch a nice documentary. Halfway through, from our shared driveway with the crack house next door, we hear a slurred clearly drunk voice yell "You goddamn bastard. I'm going to kill you. You and your fucking bitch. Yeah go ahead and keep on sucking his cock. You goddamn bastards! *mumble grumble mumble*" Naturally the boyfriend and I run to the window to watch. The guy stumbles to the back of our driveway, props himself up on "the goddam bastard's" truck and starts taking a piss on it. What seems like 15 minutes later he finishes peeing and stumbles back to the house to start up his rant again. From what we can figure the guy maybe stole his girlfriend?…The drunk guy ends his verbal onslaught with "How's your car you asshole! How's your goddamn car?!!! I bet it's broken! Damn right." and then he's gone and we are back to the parrots.

1:45 am - I wake to "dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me" blaring outside my bedroom window. The girl that lives above us is sitting in her car with a guy with the car doors wide open - radio cranked. Why? I'm not sure. This is the same girl who last week got in a cat fight outside our bedroom window with another girl she had been letting stay with her. The cops came twice that night, a broken windshield, a warning to watch out for her heroine addict boyfriend, and a few restraining orders later, she's back to partying.

And this is why we are trying to buy a house and break our lease. I can't live here with a baby. I just can't.

It’s a Lime! May 25, 2006

 5/23/06

From a fig to a lime, this baby is really picking up the pace. According to my weekly update from the pregnancy website “Her/his face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions on the sides of her head.” Great….good to know my alien child is now adapting and taking on more life like features.  I tell you this though… my belly is already popping out over my pants…well actually the baby is pushing my fat roll out over my pants which used to nestle nicely under the waistband of my jeans. I can’t fit into anything and have thrown quite a few minor temper tantrums over the fact that nothing feels comfortable any more. Instead of feeling mothery and glowy, I just feel fat, sick, and uncomfortable. But like all the books/friends say, I’ll feel better soon and then can really embrace the changes in my body and the fact that I’m about to have a baby! The thought still freaks me out! A friend of mine just had a baby (on my birthday actually) and each time I hold him I start to tear up. He is just so delicate and cute. But really it reminds me that in December I’ll be holding my own kid….weird!

 

Sweet Sweet Music May 24, 2006

 5/22/06

Came home tonight to the boyfriend (still thinking up a nickname for him) sitting at his computer surrounded by all of his keyboards (he uses to make his electronic music) most of them in pieces in what looks to be an attempt to get them up and running, playing his recorder…and when I say recorder I mean recorder like what we had when we were kids learning how to play “Hot Cross Buns”. Man he looked serious too….really belting out those sweet recorder sounds…

Fig Newton May 24, 2006

5/17/06 

The baby is the size of a fig now!….I’m going to continue on now as if I have never had that unfortunate incident…So I think that makes the baby’s name “sesame lentil raspberry kidney grape kumquat fig!" apparently my baby is now growing “tooth buds”…um yeah….all I know is I’m still nauseous and anything touching the “girls” (aka my breasts) feels like sandpaper. And naturally they are the first body part that…whoah…I just realized I can’t call my boyfriend the name I used to on my last blog…hmmm…..new name for him…..what should it be?….I’ll have to think on that. In any envet he goes right for the “girls” all the time and constantly gets his hand whacked by me, but like any determined boy, he tries tries again….