It’s already been a week and a half since the day and it’s already fading fast in my mind….
It’s the night before the wedding and have just spent the whole day setting up the venue. We rented the space but had to do all the work. My plan was to keep the wedding low maintenance, but with the feel of a really good party. No one bothered to point out to me that this translated into “you do all the work, you stress yourself out with the details, and you have to buy everything yourself so…more money spent…oh and you will drive everyone around you crazy with the details you may or may not be paying too much or too little attention to”. You should have seen my bridesmaids, rolling umbrella tables nearly taller than them, down the hill to their final resting place behind the house in the shade. Those girls were almost flattened under those tables
Back at my sister’s house, they threw us a fantastic party (Hawaiian Theme) in which I was required to wear a grass skirt for the night. It was sweet, the food was great, the drinks better. It still really hadn’t sunk in until I was heading up to bed (I was going to sleep there for the night to try to uphold a smidge of tradition). I went over to give D a last kiss goodnight and to tell him I couldn’t wait to marry him in the morning. I was almost to him making that “awwwww - I love you” sound when he decided to wave me off with a “yeah yeah I know you love me”. Now the boy was drunk, and this was in front of his best man and my brother-in law, and maybe I could have let it go a little, but…. It’s so easy for him to mess up the important moments. I told him “thanks a lot” and headed for the stairs. as I slipped away I hear my brother-inlaw say “go after her!” which he did. He sputtered through an apology and an explanation to which I replied “you have to be better” I hugged him and kissed him goodnight a tiny bit deflated because I hoped for a moment but was left with, well, a let-down. It’s the night before the wedding - and I go to bed exhausted, excited, and sad.
It’s morning and I didn’t sleep well. There isn’t a clock in my room, but I think it’s early. It’s not though. We only have an hour to get out of the house to meet J , my bridesmaid, for breakfast and then off to ‘hair”. Breakfast is delicious. I actually managed to eat. My hair is done and looks exactly like I wanted. We head to the hotel and watch a bit of television (none of us have cable) and become sucked into a crap reality show and as you knew it would happen as soon as I typed it….reality show…time got a way from us and we had to race to get ready! In the elevator someone asked me if I was the bride. Of course I am. In the lobby people stared as we trotted through to get to the parking lot and into my car which has no AC. I drove. I was hot, and nervous, and hot. We picked up my mom and the kids and she drove us the rest of the way in her AC’d, thank god, car. I don’t remember what was playing on the radio as we drove to the wedding, I just remember the knot in my stomach and the sweat drying on my body. I screamed a little at one point and my Mom jumped. She told me to warn her the next time I did that, but you can’t really warn before you scream, it just bubbles out of you.
Hidden upstairs at the wedding site, I looked out the window and saw D in position waiting for me. he looked nervous. he looked really really hot.
I walked down the aisle to this
It’s one of our favorite bands. This song and video (you must watch it till the end) makes my stomach flip and tears come to my eyes, but I also feel happy. It just makes me emotional.
I held onto my Mom’s arm as we waited our turn to walk down the aisle. I looked at her and said “I love you. Don’t cry” and so she started to cry…I kept my eyes on D and tried to ignore the people staring at me. don’t fall don’t fall don’t fall.
The ceremony went so fast. D just kept saying to me “I’m hot. I’m hot”. Don’t pass out…Luckily he didn’t and we made it through and it was perfect.
The rest of the day went something like this.
Hi! It’s so great to see you!! Hold on I’ll be right back, I just need to go get this picture taken. Oh my god! Hi - you look great! Hold on I’ll be right back. I’ll be right back! I’ll be right back! The toast - amazing. I cried and almost did an impression of a certain British friend seeing a chipmunk for the first time. It would have killed. The food - I didn’t get any. The drinks - I always had one. Then I danced and danced danced danced danced danced. I danced for 3 hours straight and didn’t talk to anyone unless it was yelling over a synth beat, or guitar rift. I’m sorry for that. I wish I mingled more, but I think because I was the one who picked the dance music (with my friends help and suggestions) I always knew what song was coming next and just couldn’t miss it. I did miss a lot of other stuff though - drama, a girl was crying - I don’t know who. I hope she’s ok. Most people had fun, some got too drunk, some not enough. some hurt my feelings, some hurt others feelings. I’m sorry if I hurt yours. I was in another world! I should have talked with all of you more. but you know how it goes.
A highlight would be when My mother-inlaw walked me across the lawn saying “there is someone here to see you” (wasn’t everyone here to see me?) but I knew this must be the surprise that my friend chanted to me about as I peed in the bathroom of the hotel lobby. “I know something you don’t know”
Life Laundry! I screamed a bit too. She came! she was a bit famous at the wedding, her in all her English, garter wearing glory (D helped her off with her hose. oh yes he did)…so many of my friends have blogs and read hers. it must have felt surreal. I didn’t get to spend much time with her at the wedding, but we met for drinks and lunch a few days later. I told her she’s next and I better be invited. She says she is not going to get married, but she wears diamond engagement rings held in place with wedding bands on both hands she has inherited and bought for herself. I think she will.
The next morning hung over and exhausted, I’m married, and the year it took to plan this party is already in the distant past. But it was a kickass party. And I’m proud of that. And I’m happy and in love even when he “dorks out on sci-fi”
It’s been a week and a half now and life is completely back to normal, and nothing feels different. Our family may be a bit more complete and I can now stop calling him my “boyfriend”. But that’s about it. Truthfully…it feels good to say it “My husband…”
Twigs from the yard
Berries from the woods
Evergreen from the hedges behind our house….Nice job baby!
I love to swing….
